Houses are so much fun.

Many days go by that I wonder why I bought the house that I did. Most of the time I am frustrated that it's in constant need of fixing and/or that it never seems like enough room. Mind you I enjoy fixing things and I don't really know what I'd do with more space. Nevertheless, that feeling is there.

Since I first moved in (3 years ago now), my bathroom faucet has dripped. Beyond the drip, it would even sometimes whistle. A few days back I noticed that the drip was no longer a drip but rather a stream. I decided that I'd fix that faucet, and I bought a general "faucet-fixing" pack from Lowe's. Basically the pack included a bunch of different yet common faucet washers. I took the faucet apart to find that none of the washers in the "faucet-fixing" pack were the kind used in my faucet. Of course when I put the faucet back together, it leaked even more.

Today, I bought a new faucet. It's nothing fancy--it needn't be. I actually have a new sink, vanity, and faucet in the basement. I'm just not ready to install those yet--those are for when I actually fix-up the bathroom. So I spent 2 hours today installing the new faucet. For the record, it's only currently leaking a bit from the hot-water lead under the sink. The drips have stopped. Sure, I had to completely take apart the sink (and of course in doing so I ripped off 3-4 tiles from the wall). There was caulking, cutting of plastic drain pipes, and the bending of the bar used to move the sink-stopper up and down. An "easy" project like this is never easy.

Now I'm itching to redo the bathroom...but first, I have to finish the basement, dry-wall the "hole" between the living room and kitchen, redo all of the closets, blah, blah, blah. 

Houses are so much fun (note the sarcasm).

Pants

It's been 4 months--give or take--since I last posted. In many ways, not very much has happened; in other ways, tons of things have happened. Since February 16, I have seen the change of 2 seasons, traveled to Arizona (Hi mom and Dana!), watched OSU lose in the NCAA Basketball finals (to Florida), started to play Ultimate and softball again, and finished 2 quarters of teaching at Columbus State. Of course many other things have happened--I've gained a kitten (Angus MacGyver), we've decided to have Beth move in, I have a new roof and fence (no the fence is not on the roof), I broke 2 fingers (same incident), and I've ordered some new pants. OK, I won't blog about new pants, but I will say that in part I need them because 1. they don't make pants like they used to, and B. I don't fit in some of my old pants.

My goal with the new pants is actually to make them not fit as well. I've ordered a slightly larger size (in theory), but I've also hired a trainer and have been working on getting into Ultimate shape (see above), so hopefully these will be too big in a couple of months. If not, well, that might just have to wait until I am no longer taking Tamoxifen.

In the mean time, I only have 3 Herceptin treatments left--the final one to happen in July. The goal then is to have the blasted port taken out. I think once the port is out the tone of this blog will change. I haven't quite decided how just yet, but I think by then it will be time for the focus to not be on cancer. Maybe the size of my pants will be the focus instead.

a MUGA MUGA

So I get a call the other day, from Grant Hospital, to preregister me for the MUGA that I am scheduled for on Friday (today). Um, I have a MUGA scheduled for Friday? This makes some sense--I see the oncologist next Friday--he probably wants the results before we meet. But somehow I totally missed getting this onto even just one of the many calendars I use (did I mention I think I'm doing too much these days?). I have 2 hanging over my desk at work--nope, not on either. My dayplanner (yes, I still carry a dayplanner)--nope, not in there (which is surprising because not only are my treatments written in for the day I have them, but I also have the printout for the 5 or so that they scheduled in advance). It wasn't even written on the calendar over my desk at home. Fair enough. It was lucky that they wanted to preregister me--I was able to find out what time this scan was scheduled for from the dude on the other end of the line.

One of the "checks" that the oncologists sends me through is a heart scan--a MUGA. I have to do this every 3 or 4 months...apparently both the Taxol and the Herceptin each have a 2% chance of screwing with my left ventricle. I only get Herceptin now, but it's still something they monitor. So today, I had what I think is the 4th MUGA of my life. They take some blood, tag it with radioactivity, put it back in me, and then take some "pictures" of my heart. Somehow this calculates the percentage of blood that the left ventricle pumps back out to my body...needs to be at least 50% to continue with the drugs...mine has waffled from 68-73% (which is quite normal). Of course the technician didn't give me the results. I'll have to wait to hear from the poison doc next week. But it was interesting to be back at the hospital. It was reminding me of all of the tests that I went through almost a year ago.

The room where they take the "pictures" is connected to the room where they do bone scans (both use the same type of radioactivity). A woman was being scanned in that room, and I could hear her tecnician chatting with her about things. Now I realize this probably is bad protocol, but there is only a curtain hanging between rooms. I hear the technician say that Dr. Brenda will use this particular bone scan as a baseline, and that the woman should not be concerned if in a year, Dr. Brenda orders another. Dr. Brenda is a breast cancer doc. This is the woman's first scan...so it becomes apparent to me that this woman has been recently diagnosed with breast cancer.

I'm intrigued in part because I laid on that same table in March 2006 for the same test. I haven't had a second bone scan, but I should anticipate getting one, I suppose. The technician mentioned all of the doctors that routinely ask for a follow-up scan, and she named both Dr. Liang (surgeon) and Dr. Yadav (poison doc). OK then--why haven't I had a second one ordered? Should I have one? I guess it might make me feel better to know that my bones are STILL clear of cancer. It is the assumption with which we are running (an assumption that carries a 97% likelihood). Percentages. It all comes down to percentages now.

I have recently begun to wonder if every last little cancer cell is indeed gone. I mean seriously--it was in my lymph node...which means one could have passed that filter and moved elsewhere. No other lymph nodes were positive--indicating that isn't the case, but still. I'm a biologist--I know how small cells are. And I do know that if one did slip by, that doesn't mean it survived either my immune system or the chemo. But what are THOSE percentages? We can work the chemo drug percentages until we are blue in the face, but we haven't worked the statistics backwards at all. The chemo percentages are all based on what was put into my body. What about what may have already been going on IN my body? I don't suppose those statistics are easy to calculate. But if I could figure out how to calculate them, I would.

Instead I'll wait to hear what the percentage of blood being pumped out of my left ventricle is, so that I can continue receiving the Herceptin until sometime this summer.

And for whatever it's worth, did you know that you can use mileage to and from any medical treatment (at 18 cents a mile) towards earning a tax deduction? Overall, any out-of-pocket medical expenses have to surpass 7.5% of one's yearly wages. The statistics might be in my favor on this one.

Dear Blog

Well hello blog. It's been awhile. My lack of connection with you is a reflection of my over-committing myself. I wondered what would happen when the effects of the chemo started to lessen (and that has happened). Now I want to "do." But it's not the "do" that one might think happens after recovering from being beat up for 9 months. So blog, it's not like I've found better things to do then spend time with you. Rather it's me trying to find the things that I want to do. And it's not that I don't want to blog. I just have found myself over-shooting the mark a bit. And that, my friend, is something that I definitely want to avoid. I do not want to be so bogged down with life that I don't see it...or feel it. So I'm evaluating now what it is I need to hang on to and what I can then let go. Blog--I will hang on to you, and I will come back to you. Just know that I'm doing fine and am finding my way post-chemo.

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