Friday, August 04, 2006

The second half of the second half

I'm sitting in the treatment room, surrounded by many others that are at different stages of their treatments. I'm finding that not everyone gets exactly the same drugs--I get Tagument, someone else gets Pepsin, someone is getting adriamycin, I got epirubicin. But it's like therapy in here. The group sort of therapy. Everyone is comparing war wounds. What fell out when, what aches and pains everyone has had (and continue to has). A woman just found some "freebie" kits--complete with chap stick, thermometer, and a cold pack. I guess the drug companies know what we need. Perhaps not.

I'm half way through the the second half of the treament. For those of you keeping score, that means 6 more weeks. This is treatment 6 of 12, and the last, if things go accordingly, will be September 8th. I think a big part is in order, yet I'm certainly not done yet. A full year's worth of herceptin--the new antibody that enhances the chemo treatments--is still on the docket. That means that I get to keep the port in until next summer. Well, I guess that still better than having my arm poked over and over again. I don't yet know if the herceptin will come weekly or triweekly, but either way, I get to get poked for a whole year.

It's been 6 weeks of fun. I actually kind of mean that. While I get zapped because of the benadryl, I have been able to keep working, teaching, and doing stuff. This week was a tough one--I have NOT been getting enough sleep. Yesterday and today I have been hurting purely from tiredness. I'll get caught up this weekend. And I'm in the midst of treatment, and the benadryl hasn't completely knocked me out. Yes, I'm completely tired and sleepy, but sleep has not come.

I went to my first Ultimate tournament this past weekend, the first since all of this started. I played 6 easy points. Easy in terms of the importance to the game, and easy in terms of what I did out there. I had a few spurts of energy wherein in I really tried to run, but that didn't last long. It's OK, I don't mind supporting the team in this way. But I am READY to start losing some pounds and getting back into shape. Maybe it can happen before the treatment ends, but if it has to wait, it will wait. I am just looking forward to feeling energy that lasts beyond the occasional.

OK, perhaps I should stop with this current post; the connection here is a wireless signal that I have stolen from somewhere. I only have a short time to be here anyway. Then perhaps I can go home and find the sleep that didn't come to me today. I'm in the second half of the second half. The light at the end of the tunnel may just be there.